Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do so you can do the things you really want to do. Simple living is simple … eventually, but there are parts, especially in the beginning, that can be really frustrating.
The First 5 Most Frustrating Things About Simplicity
1. Not knowing where to begin.
When you don’t know where to begin simplifying your life, that first step feels overwhelming. It’s helpful to know that you are not going to start in the wrong place. You can’t. No matter where you begin, you will be able to create momentum for the next change.
If you can’t choose, write down the areas of your life that you want to simplify like clutter, debt, and diet on different pieces of paper or index cards. Put them in a hat and choose one. Start there.
2. When family and friends are not on board or even supportive.
Start with your own stuff and demonstrate the benefits of simplicity. Don’t nag or beg. Just keep your eyes on your own paper and simplify. When people in your life begin to see the change in you, they will get curious.
Next, find support elsewhere. Joshua Becker’s book, Simplify was great support and inspiration for me, and the communities I’ve discovered through blogs and social media have really helped me stay the course. Because of the warm community I’ve cultivated, I never felt alone in my simplicity journey.
3. Navigating the holidays and other traditions.
Getting simple doesn’t mean you have to give up everything you love. Less is not nothing. It’s less. That looks different for everyone and doesn’t happen overnight. Take it slowly and do what’s best for you and your family.
Use minimalism around the holidays to take a good look at what you most enjoy and what means the most to you on special days. Create more time and space to engage more deeply in those things, but cutting out a few of the others. For more inspiration, read about an aspiring minimalist’s meltdown when she gave up presents for her birthday.
4. Saying no.
It’s hard to say no, especially to interesting opportunities, but you can’t do it all, or at least you can’t do it all well. Our inherent fear of missing out makes us worry that we won’t have other opportunities, or that maybe “this was the one” but there will be more. There will always be more.
When you say no and start getting really intentional about what you say yes to, you will become better aligned with your purpose, passion, and true desires. If you aren’t clear on what your desires are, learn how to create goals with soul with Danielle Laporte’s Desire Map.
5. Finding time to declutter or simplify.
Simplicity creates time, but it takes time to make the time. That is frustrating. If you don’t have large blocks of time to make progress, use the time you do have. Here are 25 ways to simplify your life in 10 minutes or less.
If you don’t think 10 minutes is enough, experiment and commit to 10 minutes a day for 30 days. At the end of the month, you’ll have devoted 300 minutes to simplifying your life. That will make a difference. If you want more time, hide your television and devote that time to simplicity instead.
All of these frustrating things can surface anytime depending on what’s going on around you, or inside you, but these solutions will help.
I asked friends on Twitter to tell me the most frustrating part of simplifying for them and the response was big, too big for one blog post. I’ll be sharing the frustrations and solutions over a 3 part series. If there is something that is frustrating to you about simplicity, please leave a comment and I’ll do my best to offer a solution in an upcoming post.
Even with all of these frustrations, taking the steps to live more simply will be rewarding. It will change the way you think, live, love and how you navigate the world.
Hi Courtney – I was just about to ask if you’d be there on Monday! (you linked to the event in Leeds rather than Sydney btw) I’m super excited for it & will try say hi if I have the opportunity (amongst the thousand odd other people!). Cheers, Suzie
Thanks Suzie! Looking forward to meeting you, and I just updated the link.
What’s frustrating? It’s never over. As soon as you think you’ve simplified and decluttered yourself into a state of nirvana, you look around and . . . There it is! Back again! So sneaky . . .
It’s a process, people. Learn to love the journey.
These are so on target! I’m glad you’re addressing the frustrations, Courtney.
Now that I’ve moved down the path of simplicity further, my biggest frustration is the challenge of living in a smaller space. It’s not a tiny space by any means, but its smaller than our former two-story house. The main challenge is being sensitive to sound and not having enough storage.
There are some thing that need to be stored like our three cat carriers. We need all three in the event of an emergency. And since lava is flowing into our nearest town, that’s not an imaginary possibility! We’re completely safe right now, the lava is 10 miles away and not headed toward us, but we want to be prepared to take care of our feline friends should we ever face a similar circumstance.
Aloha Sandra. My wife and I live in a small space (a studio) in Hawaii and it has been something we had to get used to from downsizing. Especially when it comes to storage. We ended up creating more storage areas that serves a multi-purpose like a bench or coffee table. My wife is still trying to get used to the smaller closet. I told her a solution and she wasn’t having any of it. haha..Are you on the Big Island? If you are, glad your place is safe. Aloha.
Daniel and Sandra,
I hope both of your families are safe and well. I too struggle with storage and peace and quiet. We found using wooden trunks as a coffee table in our living area and ottoman in the bedroom have really helped for keeping linens and our memory box/photo albums. We love having real photos instead of digitizing, so that created a problem with 12 albums! Finding quiet and serenity, especially outside with noisy neighbours is still a problem. Any advice?
I also had issues with storing my cat carriers in my 450 sq ft home. Then thought about how my kitties get upset when in there. So, I took their beds, placed them into the carriers (assembled without the door), then placed the carriers where the guys like to curl up. They like it and it isn’t any different than having just the beds out.
One of the most frustrating things to me is that I know so few people who are really on board with simplicity or minimalism. Everyone will say they want a simpler life, but doing what it takes to get there is another thing — or even understanding what simplifying looks like. I guess I’d like to have more friends who are on the same page.
Aloha,
I just picked up Joshua Becker’s Simplify Book and it’s already been a great inspiration along with keeping up with your blog as well. I would agree that the support part is frustrating. I’m lucky that my wife is supportive because she has seen the difference it makes on me and our relationship even thought she wouldn’t consider herself a minimalist.
We even had a talk about gifts for the holidays and what’s more important than spending money on each other. It’s definitely a process, but I believe you must be proactive in order to see the change you want to see.
Aloha. A hui hou. Malama Pono.
Daniel
Becoming Minimalist is both exciting and frustrating for me! I just completed a move and I was thrilled when my boyfriend said that that was my most organized and smallest move yet. Then I looked around and eek.. I still have so much to go through and to get rid of!! I have a hurt back so being really accountable to friends that are helping to move me is very important.
I think my biggest challenge are papers and little mementos. Especially the ones that were given to me by my children! I would love some more ideas about digitalizing and or getting rid of. (I am going to make a shadow box for each child.)
I agree Joshua Becker’s book Simplify was an amazing book! The only thing I wanted was for it to be longer!! I think though that maybe it was the perfect length and that I should just read it over and over again.
Ty Courtney for another excellent post!
Not knowing where to start is huge! When I see so much clutter around me, physically, mentally, emotionally, spriritually….. Not knowing where or how to start makes for an easy excuse to not start at all. But in reality it is just an excuse to do nothing about our current situations. You are so right that there is no wrong place to start! So there is no more excuse! It’s just that simple.
This is a great post! One of the best surprises is that when I just quietly get on with it, others (who don’t particularly want to be minimalist) tend to adopt some of my practices. I say nothing, but am so grateful! You have refreshed me with all these intelligent solutions – thanks.
Years ago I tried to simplify holiday gift giving and I met with so much resistance from friends and family. I kept at it and it’s better now but it can be so difficult to convince people I do NOT need another unnecessary plastic object. I want to be able to savor what really matters. Connections with people I love and yes, lights on a tree.
The most frustrating thing about simplifying for me, besides the fact that I have a job that doesn’t stop at 5:00, leaving me little time to work on it, is the YEARS of paper piles to go through. And only a short way into the first pile I find something I don’t know whether it is important to keep or not. Many people on the web tell you what you should and shouldn’t keep, and they don’t agree. I don’t want one more piece of paper I don’t need, but this problem can stop me in my tracks. If I keep all the ones I’m uncertain about, I’m right back where I started.
Shawn,
Try scanning the papers you’re not sure about & keeping them on your computer and backed up to the cloud and an external hard drive. Then you can delete them later if you choose. I have all our docs this way even though I still have paper copies of certain things like titles to vehicles, mortgage docs, passport & birth/ marriage certs. It’s a little extra set up on the front end, but really makes things quick and easy moving forward. Hope this helps.
Tracey
I find #2 to be a real sticker for me. My family (outside my home) never seem to understand me. “Why would you not want more? Bigger? Better? Don’t you want your kids to have more? Bigger? Better? Their own rooms? More clothes? Name brand clothes? Cell phones? Don’t you want them to fit in?” I get it all the time. The simple answer of “no” gets me a look like I’m an alien that just landed on planet earth and has a tail growing out of the top of my head.
Maybe I like my boys to share a room since they struggle with getting along, so they can learn to compromise. Maybe I like my home just fine. especially since it is paid off. Why would I want to go into unneeded debt just to have more. Does more make you happy? It doesn’t appear to make my mom or sister happy.
Having confidence in the way I am living helps me to resist the pressure from family. This makes me happy, it may not be for them.
Chiming in late to this really good post.
I’d enjoy some companionship on my simplifying journey and find it frustrating to not have it in spite of searching. I am very thankful for the online simplifying community. It helps. Brittany’s comment about how she feels when she says “no” to those who question her about her simple living choices sums up how I feel too. Very well said. Resonate with Sammie’s comment too.