We are all guilty of passing judgement at one time or another and probably more frequently than we would like to admit. I use “we” here to include myself, because as much as I want to treat kindly and be more loving, being judgmental is a hard habit to break.
We judge people by
- what they say
- what they wear
- what they eat
- who they hang out with
- what they create
- what they look like
- what they do for work
- if they have more than us
- if they have less than us
It’s one thing to observe and notice, but another to place judgement and make assumptions based on a glance or a glimpse. We know this is true, but it is our inherent nature to raise eyebrows, smirk, and make a mental note about how we think someone else is.
The real truth is that we don’t know what is in someone’s heart. We don’t know their pain, their perspective, their intentions or their life. We don’t know enough to judge and it is not our job to judge.
And really, what benefit does judging someone have? Judging a person doesn’t describe who they are. It describes who you are.
Today’s mini-mission is no easy task and requires a close look at your own heart, fears and ability to see past a first impression. This mini-mission challenges you to judge less. Instead of focusing on judging or not judging though, try to replace your behavior with something more valuable.
Replace judgement with …
- Kindness. As soon as you notice your brain going to a judgy place, find something nice to say or think about someone.
- Gratitude. Often times we judge someone else because of something that isn’t right in our own life. Identify something in your own life that you are truly grateful for. When you turn the focus away from what you don’t have to being grateful for what you do have, your heart naturally softens.
- Connection. Instead of passing judgement, simply say “Hello.” or “Good Morning.” or “I love you.” or “How can I help?”
- Empathy. Remember how it feels to be judged and stop the cycle.
- Laughter. When you start judging, laugh at your own behavior. Ask yourself this question, “Isn’t it funny that I think I am in a place to judge someone else?”
- Engagement. Get lost in your work and your relationships through true engagement and you won’t have time to judge.
Consider that your judgement has nothing to do with the other person. It is simply how you choose to view the situation and the world based on how you feel about yourself and what is going on in your life. You have the power to choose to judge less. You’ll feel lighter, happier and more loving and helpful when you do.
For more experiments to simplify your life, read Mini-missions for Simplicity. It’s available on the Amazon Kindle store, but you don’t need a Kindle to read it. Kindle books can also be read using the Free Kindle Reader App for your Web Browser, PC, Mac, iPad, iPhone, BlackBerry, or Android.
